Me and The Scale

I have been obsessed with my weight since Primary School. I went through puberty younger than most and developed breasts before I got to Secondary School. I was very conscious I was bigger and taller than other girls. They caught up eventually. However that feeling of self-consciousness about my body never left. It’s hard to […]

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Undiagnosed

I am writing this from my bed using Google voice typing. As I’ve found my hands keep cramping whenever I try and type on my phone. It’s another symptom to deal with that makes me feel more disconnected. One good thing today is that my new support pillow has arrived and it is ridiculously comfortable. […]

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Choices

One of the hardest things I’ve found since becoming ill is that I have to weigh up the pros and cons of any event. I have to plan an escape route if I get too tired or in too much pain. My partner is performing at a Drama festival tomorrow. I’m so proud of him […]

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The one with the breast clinic

So today I went to the breast clinic. Some background needed as I’m only 28 with no family history of breast cancer. I’ve been having chronic infections on my breasts for 2.5 years. It’s been a mystery and a lot of antibiotics have been taken. I was referred to the breast clinic to make sure […]

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How To Take a Good Rest

Hello all, I thought I’d share my tips on resting. I’m terrible at it usually, I have bad bouts of insomnia and find it hard to sit still even when I’m not well. The hum of amxiety has always been there since I was a child. Sitting myself with my thoughts is something I’m afraid […]

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What is happiness?

I have a lot of spare time to fill due being off work and mostly housebound. One of my favourite discoveries is audiobooks. For a long time my concentration has been too poor to focus on reading. I end up reading sentences over and over and find it distressing. Then along came audiobooks, someone to […]

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I can never get clean

Last night I felt so depressed. I took a shower and sat down for over half an hour scrubbing at myself. Letting the warm water rain over me. Desperately trying to feel clean, my skin was flushed and pink by the time I finished. I’ve taken a few of these showers in my life. They’re […]

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